I was sitting in the snack bar of Mark Clark Hall having one of those fabulous chocolate shakes with a couple of classmates when we noticed some suits. Knowing that the Vice President was soon to visit, it was easy to identify Secret Service agents. They were the advance team and had just arrived. As true Americans their first stop was for a cheeseburger in a building named for a true American.
I decided to engage them in a conversation. Eventually they asked where the weapons on campus were stored. I told them that the personal weapons of cadets and the pistols of the Pistol Team were held in the armory maintained by the US Army ROTC unit. You could just tell that they were thinking that it would be easy to control that situation by a lock down. Then with perfect timing I delivered the punch line that each cadet had a M-14 in his room. Trying to remain cool they tried not to react but you see them tense. Then I revealed that the firing pins had been removed. The agents relaxed. I just could not leave it alone. I explained that an inserted 16p nail would make an M-14 fire at least once. I had no idea if it would work or if the nail would fit where the pin had been removed but it sounded good. Their radar went back up.
Going back to the barracks I was enjoying the thought that we would have to turn in our rifles and we would get to parade without them. Cadets love mischief and I thought I had disrupted our world. To further entertain myself I told my fellow cadets that the Secret Service was prepared to shoot you if you made a strange move while you passed in review. For the uninitiated that is the point in the parade where you would be very close to the Vice President holding a rifle. I was still certain that our rifles would be collected.
The joke was on me. The rifles remained in our room gun racks. Several weeks later, the day of the parade arrived. Everyone was excited, we had heard a rumor that some College of Charleston girls were going to streak at the parade in front of the VPOTUS. We were hoping that we would be incensed. (Ray Steven's song lyrics) The company first sergeant inspected each rifle. I had to believe he was looking for nails. I started in on my fellow cadets telling them they would be shot if they tripped or mishandled their rifle when they were close to Vice President Ford. I was having a ball right up to the point when I saw the sniper on the roof of the Padgett-Thomas Barracks.
Gary Barker is an alumni member of the Citadel class of 1976. You can follow him on
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